IP Weekly
The other day I overheard a colleague telling another co-worker that they hadn’t had a lunch break in 10 years. Knowing this colleague for many years I can say this wasn’t meant as an exaggeration and they weren’t sharing it as a lament. It was a boast.
Somehow, even during this period when we are thinking more about self-care, mental health and work/life balance, we also still glorify not having a lunch or working so many hours that life just doesn’t have room for anything else. On “The Bear”, a show you must watch, the main character believes he has to choose the restaurant he is trying to open over the relationship he has just started. He, and we, are led to believe that he cannot have both. In short, we can’t seem to decide if we really care about ourselves and our mental health or if we just want to say that we do.
We love watching people work. We want our favorite characters on our favorite shows to be committed to their work, maybe it inspires us. My favorite show, “The West Wing” features characters who cannot even fathom a relationship or simply cannot take a day or two for a getaway. Instead we see them frequently working late at night or arriving for work before 7am. The hours they are in their office become plot points, you don’t have to look hard to find the information so it must be important. Curiously, the character who is married and does take vacation is the president. We want our presidents, in real life and on television, to be married and we want to watch video of them on vacation as long as those working for them have neither.
We want to hear stories about our favorite athletes being the first in the gym and the last to leave and we lambaste them when they sit out a game or two to rest. Leaving late from work is a badge of honor even if it’s hours after productivity has declined. I know that I felt guilty for years if I wasn’t the last person out of the building. Still today I exit with my backpack in tow even if I have no expectation that I’ll open it when I am home. Anything to avoid being seen walking out empty handed.
The notion of what hard work is and the sacrifices associated with it are deeply ingrained in our culture. Ask anyone about the new generation of workers, those who just graduated college and you’ll get an earful about how much they care about time off or working on Friday’s. Still, each week I can find articles or podcasts about what it means to be productive (hint: it has nothing to do with skipping lunch for ten years). I know I want my children to find work/life balance. Yes, they should work hard, be great employees and experience success. And, they should travel, rest, get to the gym for their favorite class and have time for friends and partners. If we aren’t careful we will instead instill in our children the mixed messages that damage us everyday.
